I'm extremely angry at this point (understatement!). I can't have anything! It doesn't matter that I may not want it I still can't have it. I want a latte, I want to be able to eat ice cream if I want. I want to eat a piece of chocolate or be able to bake something. I want a different texture. I'm not even hungry right now and I feel like if I could eat all the things I would. I want a Siete tortilla chip with guacamole. Or even a plantain chip for all that matters but nope! Can't even do that.
I know this isn't forever but it's starting to weigh on me. When you do things for others and get them the things that you can't have you become angry. It's not directed at them you are just plan straight up angry, bitchy, unhappy, blah blah blah.
Pathetic enough I couldn't even buy anything I wanted. All my money is going toward my care. Yeah I know stop bitching, but I really don't want to. I really just want to have my pity party right now and just get it all off my chest. If I can 't rant then what good is writing about anything?!
Oh, but the one thing that I can have all I want of..... water. Yeah WTH?!? I hate water. Yes I am one of those weird people. I'd love to have a Zevia and I haven't had one of those in months.
Ok, so that was yesterday and today is Monday and I'm better this evening than I was this morning. I got up early and went to the gym, which was great. I had a decent workout. It was a leg focused day and after running yesterday my legs were a little more tired so I couldn't push the amount weight I would have liked.
I got home and my bad mood continued. Everything was driving me nuts and I certainly didn't want to go to work! I made my breakfast and had my tea as usual. I had to take Jack out to go to the bathroom since all noises bother him and Stryker got me dirty! I was so over today already. I forgot to take everything with me. No water bottle, no tea bag, nothing. Then I noticed a 12:30 house showing when I got in the car! ARG! I usually call mom but didn't since I figured I would snap.
Long story, but everything went fine today. I had meetings all morning and as soon as those were done it was off to lunch at home. The buyers showed up on time and I was back to work when I needed to be. I ended up emailing my doctor and letting him know how I felt. He says it's for sure part of the detox process, as he has been through it as well as other patients and suggested to take some activated charcoal to help with the candida die off effects. So I think I am going to try it tonight.
Dinner was fabulous and I think it helped. I made sweet potato fries and roasted broccoli, avocado, bacon, brussel sprouts and a grass fed bacon burger mix.
The rest of the night I will try to relax and prepare for tomorrow.
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